Marriage is Ordained of God

There is so much material in today's lesson-- including topics like revelation given to women just the same as men, marriage in the covenant, birthrights, and Foreordination.

 I knew in preparing the lesson that there was no way to fit it all in so unfortunately some of the material and stories will have to be skipped--leaving you to go home and do some personal study on your own.  

 I'm excited about the overarching theme in today's lesson: marriage in the covenant. It's a topic I studied extensively in my academic career--writing 3 papers on it, one of which was published.  

 I want to start out by sharing with you some insight I learned over the years while studying this topic. And allow this to serve as the foundation for the stories we will be reading today.  


 The reason I chose to focus on this theme over the other themes in the lesson is because marriage is one of the most important institutions and has become demoralized in our society. I believe that younger generations, mine included, are forgetting the basic, simple knowledge that since man came into existence, marriage was and always will be ordained of God. It was never a societal institution, it was instituted by God.  


 In the opening pages of the book of Genesis we read that  “And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (KJV, Gen 2:18). Interestingly enough Eve is not created in the next verse and there's a reason for this. The Lord commissions all of the animals (the birds, fowls, fishes, insects, and every creeping thing) to come forth, in pairs, before Adam, to be named (Gen 2:19-20). Some scholars believe this daunting task took years for Adam to complete.  

 As Adam was observing all of Gods creations consisted of two--each pair abiding together--he was being taught the necessity of companionship (note the end of verse 20 “[…] but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him”).  

 It is only after Adam learned of the importance of companionship was Eve was created. We read of Adams great relief in finding his help meet, as he exclaims: “Now bone of my bones! Now flesh of my flesh” (Gen 2:23). 

 Another important insight we gain from this verse: the word helpmeet is distinctively separate, written as “help,” “meet.” There is great significance in the separation of these words. The Hebrew etymology of “help,” is Ezer and is defined as “subordinate too, remedy, or cure.” We see this contextual form of “help” written throughout the scriptures, relating to the Savior and us becoming subordinate to him in filling in the gaps, in curing the imperfections of our lives.  

 The same symbolism exists within a companionship. When we enter a marriage we are essentially saying/promising to our companion “I will remedy the 50% that you lack, and be there to aid you when you fall short.

 “Meet” in Hebrew is Knegdo, and means “necessary, adequate, counterpart.” Countless studies have been done on the benefits of marriage--from societal benefits, to financial, emotional, and spiritual benefits--all proving that marriage is a necessary union, that each person is to be “adequate" or in Latin adaequatus which means equal to one another.  

 Now having his “help meet,” or in other words having finally met his equal, the Lord declares to Adam: “therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife” (Gen 2:24).  

 Looking at this scripture through a literary lens, an interesting choice of verbs is used in this account.  Normally ‘to cleave’ means to cut asunder, to split into two parts. We speak for example of the camel having a cloven foot. However, in the Hebrew language the word carries the opposite meaning: “to cleave,” means to put back together two things that have been separated; to join them so tightly one to another it is as if there was no original separation.  

 Thus the Hebraic translation assumes Adam had something taken away from him, cloven from his side, and was no longer whole. The only solution for Adam to become whole was by cleaving to the only creation that was truly equal to him— the creation that holds the “missing part” (symbolically the rib) of him.  

 When a man and woman thus cleave together, or rather cleave back together, they become whole once again; they become one—one in flesh, one in mind, one in spirit. Then and only then can man be fully complete.  

Now kind of having a foundation as to the inception and importance of marriage, let's get into some scriptural examples that will cast light on the importance of then marrying in the covenant.  

 Genesis 24 relays the account of Abraham insistent that Isaac marry one of his kindred rather than a Canaanite, in whose land they were living.  He then sends his servant to go and find a wife for Isaac.  

 This servant was trustworthy, loyal, prayerful, and faithful every step of the way. We read about him calling upon God in prayer asking him to bless Isaac with a righteous woman, asking God to lead him to and help him distinguish a suitable companion.  

 Read Gen 24: 12 And he said, O aLord God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, bsend me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham. 

 13 Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw awater: 

 14 And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast aappointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master. 

 15 ¶And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out, who was born to aBethuel, son of bMilcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham’s brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder. 16 And the damsel was very afair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man bknown her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up. 

 17 And the servant ran to meet her, and said, Let me, I pray thee, drink a little water of thy pitcher. 

 18 And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink. 

 19 And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking. 

 20 And she hasted, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again unto the well to draw water, and drew for all his camels. 

 21 And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the Lord had made his journey aprosperous or not. Then we read of the servant asking Rebakahs father for her hand in marriage in behalf of Isaac (whom he'd never met), Rebekah and her father agreeing to the marriage, and Rebekah ultimately traveling back with the servant to be married to Issac.  

 This story is so fascinating, let's answer a few questions:  

 1. Abraham and his servant went through a lot of trouble making sure that Isaac married the right person. Why?  He had a testimony of eternal marriage. He wanted Isaac to marry someone of his own faith so he could marry in the covenant. This was necessary so the blessings of the Abrahamic covenant could be given to Abraham’s descendants.  

 2. What does this story reveal about the importance of the marrying in the covenant to these people? It basically overrode everything else-- it was that important to them.  Think about it, Rebekah's father simply heard the servants story--how The Lord had guided him--and he turned his daughter over to Issac. 

Further, we read of Rebekah's response:  58 And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go. 

 They all agreed to such a union because they knew she would be married in the covenant. This is evident in verse  

 60 And they blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, Thou art our sister, be thou the amother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the bgate of those which chate them. 

 **I do want to make mention that we don't just marry someone because they are LDS. In the account of Rebekah, the servant looked at her qualities: she was kind and willing to help others, as shown by her drawing water for Abraham’s servant and his camels. A camel can drink up to 30 gallons in one day, so Rebekah would have had to draw a great deal of water to satisfy 10 camels.  

 Also, the account even mentions her beauty, which implies necessary attraction. 

And later in the account we read of her veiling her face before she met Isaac, representing her purity, morality, and faithfulness to her covenants. 

 3. Jacob marries Leah and Rachel in the covenant, and through him the Abrahamic covenant continues. Unfortunately this is the part I had to skip but I will give a brief summary so I feel I at least touched upon it.  Rachel has two sons: Esau (the eldest, hence he is given the birthright), and Jacob.  However, the the Lord reveals to Rachel, during birth, that Jacob is to be a leader over Esau (we see how the events that later transpire is fulfillment of this prophesy).  During a time in Esau's life, he is near the point of starvation and asks his brother Jacob for some pottage.  Jacob says he will give him something to eat if he sells him his birthright, Esau concedes.  After his belly is full he realizes the mistake he made and there exists this brotherly feud.  Esau marries outside of the covenant and Jacob inherits all his father has.  

 Jacob leaves Canaan and journeys to the land of his kindred to find a wife and to escape the anger of Esau On his journey to find a wife, he has a dream 


 Genesis 28: 12 And he adreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven: and behold the bangels of God ascending and descending on it. 

 13 And, behold, the aLord stood babove it, and said, I am the cLord God of Abraham thy father, and the God of Isaac: the dland whereon thou liest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed; 

 14 And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the anorth, and to the south: and in thee and in thy bseed shall all the cfamilies of the earth be dblessed. 

 15 And, behold, aI am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bbring thee again into this cland; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of. 

So he sees a ladder and The Lord promises him all these blessings--which if you remember from last week are the same blessings associated with the Abrahamic covenant.  What does the ladder symbolize? 


 QUOTE 1 Elder Marion G. Romney said of this dream: “Jacob realized that the covenants he made with the Lord … were the rungs on the ladder that he himself would have to climb in order to obtain the promised blessings—blessings that would entitle him to enter heaven and associate with the Lord” (“Temples—The Gates to Heaven,” Ensign, Mar. 1971, 16). So you have some symbolism taking affect in Jacobs dream. Via the ladder Jacob is being reminded of the Abrahamic covenant that was being passed down to him through his lineage--Abraham and Issac. Remember that one of the greatest aspects of the AC was the ordinance of eternal marriage.  

 It's fitting that The Lord gives him this dream on his journey to find a wife--reiterating to Jacob that in order to reach the top rung on this ladder, he must enter into an eternal marriage.  If you continue to read the account, (See Genesis 28:1–5; 29:1–Jacob made a long journey to find a faithful woman to marry. He then worked for Laban for seven years before marrying being tricked into marrying Laban's eldest daughter Leah, and then worked again for Laban to finally woe Rachel,  and continued to work for him after he had married both Laban's daughters.)  

 How can we show that marrying in the covenant is important to us? 

 QUOTE 2 President Gordon B. Hinckley told of a family who joined the Church in Australia and then sold all their possessions so they could travel to New Zealand and be sealed as a family. The father of this family said: “We could not afford to come [to the temple]. Our worldly possessions consisted of an old car, our furniture, and our dishes. I said to my family, ‘We cannot afford not to go. If the Lord will give me strength, I can work and earn enough for another car and furniture and dishes, but if I should lose these my loved ones, I would be poor indeed in both life and in eternity’” (Be Thou an Example [1981], 138). 

 So now having these stories attached to this foundation, let's talk about some applicable lessons:  

 2. Besides the obvious blessings and covenants associated with an eternal marriage, why is it important to marry a person of our own faith? 

 QUOTE 3 President Spencer W. Kimball gave this counsel: “Paul told the Corinthians, ‘Be ye not unequally yoked together … ’ Perhaps Paul wanted them to see that religious differences are fundamental differences. Religious differences imply wider areas of conflict. Church loyalties and family loyalties clash. Children’s lives are often frustrated. The nonmember may be equally brilliant, well trained and attractive, and he or she may have the most pleasing personality, but without a common faith, trouble lies ahead for the marriage. There are some exceptions but the rule is a harsh and unhappy one” (The Miracle of Forgiveness [1969], 240). 

 QUOTE 4 President Kimball continued: “Clearly, right marriage begins with right dating. A person generally marries someone from among those with whom he … socializes. Therefore, this warning comes with great emphasis. Do not take the chance of dating nonmembers, or members who are untrained and faithless. A girl may say, ‘Oh, I do not intend to marry this person. It is just a “fun” date.’ But one cannot afford to take a chance on falling in love with someone who may never accept the gospel. True, a small percentage have finally been baptized after marrying Church members. … They are our blessed minority. … But the majority did not join the Church and … friction, frustration and divorce marked a great many of their marriages” (The Miracle of Forgiveness, 241–42) 


 I am living proof of these two quotes. I was married previous to meeting Mike. And to quote President Kimball, this man was brilliant, well trained, attractive, and had a pleasing personality, but our country of origin: Sweden verses America, and religion part Muslim and part Protestant verses Latter Day Saint made it a troublesome union right out of the gate. Obviously there was so much more at play when it came down to the decision of divorce, but let me tell you--now knowing the difference--marriage is one of the most blessed yet hardest institutions without even adding a disconnect in fundamental core values.  

 In more cases than not, because you love your Spouse, and you feel this conflict knowing you are to be one, to be equally yoked with them, so what ends up happening is one negotiates their belief system for the sake of keeping harmony in the marriage. And it's usually the one who values the most important thing.  

 Any examples??  

 Let's wrap up by talking about those who have been married in the temple.  How can a husband and wife maintain and improve the marriage relationship so that the covenants and blessings promised in the temple will be fulfilled? In essence, how do we now climb this ladder in Jacobs dream, together?  

 I think just as we make commitments to The Lord, we need to make commitments to our spouse to keep forging ahead, to keep climbing that ladder in hard times. One of us may have to reach down and help pull the other one up, but as long as we are both committed to keep trying, that's what matters.

 I hope this lesson strengthened your testimony about the importance of marriage, the importance of remembering that it has always been instituted by God. And as such, it's important that we strive to marry in the covenant so we too can be partakers of these eternal blessings given and promised to our ancestors.  Marriage is something you have to work at every single day; just because you're married in the temple doesn't mean it's smooth sailing there on out. But I hope that by understanding these scriptural references we become more impassioned to better our marriages, to cleave to one another, to be adequately yoked, to be the others necessary counterpart.