A Lesson for Parents: Fair Punishment

A little lesson learning story about parenting that I heard today and thought served as a good inspirational reminder:

When Dean was four years old his dad decided it was time to buy the family a new car.  Cars didn't come easy back in that day so getting one for the family was a big deal.  Dad loaded the family in the new car, proud to take them all for a new spin. With windows down, the children waving their arms out the window, and dad's arm wrapped around mom in the front seat with his other hand on the wheel, the family was "happy."  This state of happiness lasted a short while before mom asked dad why he didn't buy a white car?  Dad started getting a little upset, telling mom that this purchase was hard to come by and he did the best he could.  Mom wasn't pleased.  Pretty soon silence evaded the car, mom scooted over as far as she could to the passenger side of the car, and the happiness that once prevailed had dissipated.  Dean was deeply troubled about his parents arguing; he decided he'd take matters into his own hands and solve the problem.

Before his mother called him out of bed the next morning for school Dean snuck down stairs into the garage where their new car was parked. He'd seen his dad use a screw driver to open cans of paint, and that is just what Dean did, he opened a brand new can of shiny WHITE paint. "This," he thought, "is sure to fix the problem, now everyone will get what they want and be happy again."  He proceeded to paint the fender and side of the car when his mother, after searching all over the house for him, found him in the garage.  He looked at her and beamed until she let out a scream: "Dean, what have you done!"  Confused that his mom wasn't happy, he followed orders and went to retrieve a branch from their cherry tree in the backyard so mom could give him his punishment. He never did get to explain why he decided to paint the car white in the first place.

Oh the precious mind and heart of a four year old.  If only Deans parents had taken the time to ask him why he had decided to paint the car, a lot of confusion and heartache could have been saved. Hopefully we can all learn this lesson as parents: allow children to communicate their feelings and their mind process before extending the appropriate punishment.