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Monday, December 26, 2011

Attitude, Belief, Courage = The Abundant Life

I have lived with the inaccurate perception that I can't "have it all."  There has always been some sort of innate fear preventing me from living a life of plenty.  My thought process has always been, "one can't be partial to the one without adapting the vice of the other."  For example, I can't be confident, talented, or successful without being prideful, greedy, or excessive.  Yet those who have managed the two to co-exist—success and charity, confidence and humility—have proved my way of thinking wrong: mankind has every right to live the abundant life.

I was stunned and pleased to read this months ensign message from President Monson, Living the Abundant Life. It helped me realize that my preconceived notions about living a life of mediocrity had been majorly flawed.

May we remember we can "have it all"—the"abundant" life— as President Monson so eloquently encouraged us, this coming New Year.


Living the Abundant Life by President Monson

At the advent of a new year, I challenge Latter-day Saints everywhere to undertake a personal, diligent, significant quest for what I call the abundant life—a life filled with an abundance of success, goodness, and blessings. Just as we learned the ABCs in school, I offer my own ABCs to help us all gain the abundant life.

Have a Positive Attitude

A in my ABCs refers to attitude. William James, a pioneering American psychologist and philosopher, wrote, “The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”1
So much in life depends on our attitude. The way we choose to see things and respond to others makes all the difference. To do the best we can and then to choose to be happy about our circumstances, whatever they may be, can bring peace and contentment.
Charles Swindoll—author, educator, and Christian pastor—said: “Attitude, to me, is more important than … the past, … than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.”2
We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude.

Believe in Yourself

B is for believe—in yourself, in those around you, and in eternal principles.
Be honest with yourself, with others, and with your Heavenly Father. One who was not honest with God until it was too late was Cardinal Wolsey who, according to Shakespeare, spent a long life in service to three sovereigns and enjoyed wealth and power. Finally, he was shorn of his power and possessions by an impatient king. Cardinal Wolsey cried:
Had I but served my God with half the zeal
I served my king, He would not in mine age
Have left me naked to mine enemies.3
Thomas Fuller, an English churchman and historian who lived in the 17th century, penned this truth: “He does not believe that does not live according to his belief.”4
Don’t limit yourself and don’t let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possibilities.
You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith.

Face Challenges with Courage

C is for courage. Courage becomes a worthwhile and meaningful virtue when it is regarded not so much as a willingness to die manfully but as a determination to live decently.
Said the American essayist and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide on, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.”5
There will be times when you will be frightened and discouraged. You may feel that you are defeated. The odds of obtaining victory may appear overwhelming. At times you may feel like David trying to fight Goliath. But remember—David did win!
Courage is required to make an initial thrust toward one’s coveted goal, but even greater courage is called for when one stumbles and must make a second effort to achieve.
Have the determination to make the effort, the single-mindedness to work toward a worthy goal, and the courage not only to face the challenges that inevitably come but also to make a second effort, should such be required. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, “I’ll try again tomorrow.”
May we remember these ABCs as we begin our journey into the new year, cultivating a positive attitude, a belief that we can achieve our goals and resolutions, and the courage to face whatever challenges may come our way. Then the abundant life will be ours.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Nurturing Creativity

"Why haven't I written my book by now?" Is a question I ask myself at least bi-monthly.  


I laughed when Mike asked me to view this talk with him, after a conversation we had about my inadequacies as a writer—or "want to be" writer (says my future self)—because how many times have I felt some sort of creative genius pass through me, inspiring me with words, thoughts, and ideas, only to pass on quickly, leaving me stumped, and even more confused then when I first picked up my pen to write? (Many, in case you are wondering).


I procrastinate my pen touching the page because some how I feel cheated.  I feel like I have a passion to write, but my talent is only up to par when the creative juices are flowing.  I also fear, as Gilbert addressed on TED, that I won't live up to society's standards, that I will fail in my creative work because of the poor, negative aspects others will see in it. 


I am grateful for the inspiration of other creative thinkers who have defied the odds—lived through the pressure of working with their creative genius no matter the outcome (failed or successful).  I hope I can use their example to inspire me to trudge through the blank pages, to finish what I started, ignoring whatever outcome the finished product ignites.


If you have a moment check out this 20 minute talk by Elizabeth Gilbert.  It will change the way you think that you must concoct a Mozart symphony each time you attempt to tap into your creative genius.  "Ole, Ole," she says out loud, "keep embracing your inner "genius", creative thinker!!!"


http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html#.TvVqtmbO84A.facebook

Friday, December 23, 2011

The Power of Human Thought

The philosopher Manly P. Hall said: “If the infinite had not desired man to be wise, he would not have bestowed upon him the faculty of knowing."

I finally finished Dan Brown’s novel “The Lost Symbol”, and I have to say I was blown away not only by his sheer genius in the knowledge he acquired to write the novel, but the way he used the study of Noetics to bridge the gap between science and religion.  Although the book was a bit dark and gruesome, the end proved to be surprising and enlightening.  You may wonder, “how in the world could this novel be enlightening?”  I have included an excerpt that opened my eyes to the extraordinary potential that lays dormant within each one of us.  We truly are children of God and He is waiting for us to harness our divine heritage and do great things in the world. 

“Robert,” Katherine whispered, her gaze still fixated on the massive figures of America’s greatest inventors accompanied by Minerva.  “It’s prophetic, really.  Today, man’s most advanced inventions are being used to study man’s most ancient ideas.  The science of Noetics may be new, but it’s actually the oldest science on earth—the study of human thought.” She turned to him now, her eyes filled with wonder.  “And we’re learning that the ancients actually understood thought more profound than we do today.”
            “Makes sense,” Langdon replied. “The human mind was the only technology the ancients had at their disposal.  The early philosophers studied it relentlessly.”
            “Yes! The ancient texts are obsessed with the power of the human mind . . . The Shamanic texts predict Einstein’s ‘remote influence’ in terms of healing at a distance. It’s all there! And don’t even get me started about the Bible.”
            “You too?” Langdon said, chuckling.  “Your brother tried to convince me that the Bible is encoded with scientific information.”
            “It’s certainly is,” she said. “And if you don’t believe Peter, read some of Newton’s esoteric texts on the Bible.  When you start to understand the cryptic parables in the Bible, Robert, you realize it’s a study of the human mind.”
            Langdon shrugged.  “I guess I’d better go back and read it again.”
            “Let me ask you something,” she said, clearly not appreciating his skepticism.  “When the Bible tells us to ‘go build our temple’ . . . a temple we must ‘build with no tools and making no noise,’ what temple do you think it’s talking about?”
            “Well, the text does say your body is a temple.”
            “Yes, Corinthians 3:16. You are the temple of God.” She smiled at him. “And the Gospel of John says the exact same thing.  Robert, the scriptures are well aware of the power latent within us, and they are urging us to harness that power . . . urging us to build the temples of our minds.
            “Yes, but that overlooks an important point.  The Second Coming is the coming of man—the moment when mankind finally builds the temple of his mind.”
            “I don’t know,” Langdon said, rubbing his chin.  “I’m no Bible scholar, but I’m pretty sure the Scriptures describe in detail a physical temple that needs to be built. The structure is described as being in two parts—an outer temple called the Holy Place and an inner sanctuary called the Holy of Holies.  The two parts are separated from each other by a thin veil.”
            Katherine grinned.  “Pretty good recall for a Bible skeptic. By the way, have you ever seen an actual human brain? It’s built in two parts—an outer part called the dura mater and an inner part called the pia mater.  These two parts are separated by the arachnoids’—a veil of weblike tissue.”
Gently she reached up and touched Langdon’s temple.  “There’s a reason they call this your temple, Robert.”
            As Langdon tried to process what Katherine had said, he flashed unexpectedly on the Gnostic Gospel of Mary: Where the mind is, there is the treasure.
            “Perhaps you’ve heard,” Katherine said, softly now, “about the brain scan taken of yogis while they meditate?  The human brain, in advanced states of focus, will physically create a waxlike substance from the pineal gland.  This brain secretion is unlike anything else in the body.  It has an incredible healing effect, can literally regenerate cells, and may be one of the reasons yogis live so long.  This is real science, Robert.  This substance has inconceivable properties and can be created only by a mind that is highly tuned to a deeply focused state.”
             . . . “On the topic, you’re familiar with the Bible’s account of ‘manna from heaven?
Langdon saw no connection.  “You mean the magical substance that fell from heaven to nourish the hungry?”
            “Exactly, the substance was said to heal the sick, provide everlasting life, and strangely, cause no waste in those who consumed it.” Katherine paused, as if waiting for him to understand.  “Robert?” she prodded.  “A kind of nourishment from heaven? “ She tapped her temple. “Magically heals the body? Creates no waste? Don’t you see? These are code moves, Robert! Temple is code for ‘body.’ Heaven is code for ‘mind.’ Jacob’s ladder is your spine.  And Manna is this rare brain secretion.  When you see these code words in Scripture, pay attention.  They are often markers for a more profound meaning concealed beneath the surface. “
            Katherine’s words were coming out in rapid-fire succession now, she explained how this same magical substance appeared throughout the Ancient Mysteries: Nectar of the Gods, Elixir of Life, Fountain of Youth, Philosopher’s Stone, ambrosia, dew ojas, soma.  Then she launched into an explanation about the brain’s pineal gland representing the all-seeing eye of God.  “According to Matthew 6:22,” she said excitedly,” ‘when your eye is single, your body fills with light.’ This concept is also represented by the Ajna chakra and the dot on a Hindu’s forehead, which—“
            “Katherine stopped short, looking sheepish.  “Sorry . . . I know I’m rambling.  I just find this all so exhilarating.  For years I’ve studied the ancients’ claims of man’s awesome mental power, and now science is showing us that accessing that power is an actual physical process.  Our brains, if used correctly, can call forth powers that are quite literally superhuman.  The Bible, like many ancient texts, is detailed in exposition of the most sophisticated machine ever created . . . the human mind.” She sighed.  “Incredibly, science has yet to scratch the surface of the mind’s full promise.”
            “It sounds like your work in Noetics will be a quantum leap forward.”
            “Or backward,” she said.  “The ancients already knew many of the scientific truths we’re now rediscovering.  Within a matter of years, modern man will be forced to accept what is now unthinkable: our minds can generate energy capable of transforming physical matter.” She paused. “Particles react to our thoughts . . . which means our thoughts have the power to change the world.”
            “What my research has brought me to believe is this,” Katherine said. “God is very real—a mental energy that pervades everything.  And we, as human beings have been created in that image—“
            “I’m sorry?” Langdon interrupted.  “Created in the image of . . . mental energy?”
            “Exactly.  Our physical bodies have evolved over the ages, but it was our minds that were created in the image of God.  We’ve been reading the Bible too literally.  We learn that God created us in his image, but it’s not our physical bodies that resemble God, it’s our minds.
            “This is the great gift, Robert,” and God is waiting for us to understand it.  All around the world, we are gazing skyward, waiting for God . . . never realizing that God is waiting for us. We kneel like frightened children, begging for help, for forgiveness, for good luck.  But once we realize that we are truly created in the Creator’s image, we will start to understand that we, too, must be Creators.  When we understand this fact, the doors will burst wide open for human potential.”
            Langdon recalled a passage that had always stuck with him from the work of the philosopher Manly P. Hall: “If the infinite had not desired man to be wise, he would not have bestowed upon him the faculty of knowing. Langdon gazed up again at the image of The Apotheosis of Washington—the symbolic ascent of man to deity.  The created . . . becoming the Creator.
            “The most amazing part,” Katherine said, “is that as soon as we humans begin to harness our true power, we will have enormous control over our world.  We will be able to design reality rather than merely react to it.”
            Langdon lowered his gaze. “That sounds . . .  dangerous.”
            Katherine looked startled . . . and impressed.  “Yes, exactly! If thoughts affect the world, then we must be very careful how we think.  Destructive thoughts have influence, too, and we all know it’s far easier to destroy than it is to create.”
            Langdon thought of all the lore about needed to protect the ancient wisdom from the unworthy and share it only with the enlightened.  He thought of the Invisible College, and the great scientist Isaac Newton’s request to Robert Boyle to keep “high silence” about their secret research.  It cannot be communicated, Newton wrote in 1676, without immense damage to the world.
            “There’s an interesting twist here,” Katherine said.  “The great irony is that all of the religions of the world, for centuries, have been urging their followers to embrace the concepts of faith and belief. Now science, which for centuries has derided religion as superstition, must admit that its next big frontier is quite literally the science of faith and belief . . .the power of focused conviction and intention.  The same science that eroded our faith in the miraculous is now building a bridge back across the chasm it created.”
            Langdon considered her words for a long time.  Slowly he raised his eyes again to the Apotheosis. “I have a question” he said, looking back at Katherine.  “Even if I could accept, just for an instant, that I have the power to change physical matter with my mind, and literally manifest all that I desire . . . I’m afraid I see nothing in my life to make me believe I have such power.”
            She shrugged.  “Then you’re not looking hard enough.”
            “Come on, I want a real answer.  That’s the answer of a priest. I want the answer of a scientist.
            “You want a real answer? Here it is.  If I hand you a violin and say you have the capability to use it to make incredible music, I am not lying.  You do have the capability, but you’ll need enormous amounts of practice to manifest it.  This is no different from learning to use your mind, Robert.  Well-directed thought is a learned skill.  To manifest an intention requires laser like focus, full sensory visualization and a profound belief.  We have proven this is a lab.  And just like playing a violin, there are people who exhibit greater natural ability than others.  Look to history.  Look to the stories of those enlightened minds who performed miraculous feats.”
            “Katherine, please don’t tell me you actually believe in miracles.  I mean, seriously . . .  turning water into wine, healing the sick with the touch of a hand?”
Katherine took a long breath and blew it out slowly.  “I have witnessed people transform cancer cells into healthy cells simply by thinking about them. I have witnessed human minds affecting the physical world in myriad ways.  And once you see that happen, Robert, once this becomes part of your reality, then some of the miracles you read about become simply a matter of degree.”
            Langdon was pensive.  “It’s an inspiring way to see the world, Katherine, but for me, it just feels like an impossible leap of faith.  And as you know, faith has never come easily for me.”
            “Then don’t think of it as faith. Think of is simply as changing your perspective, accepting that the world is precisely as you imagine.  Historically, every major scientific breakthrough began with a simple idea that threatened to overturn all of our beliefs.  The simple statement ‘the earth is round’ was mocked as utterly impossible because most people believed the oceans would flow off the planet.  Heliocentricity was called heresy.  Small minds have always lashed out at what they don’t understand.  There are those who create . . . and those who tear down.  That dynamic has existed for all time.  But eventually the creators find believers, and the number of believers reaches a critical mass, and suddenly the world becomes round, or the solar system becomes heliocentric.  Perception is transformed, and a new reality is born.” 

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Key Principles in Maintaining a Successful Marriage

I found this months Ensign article to be particularly enlightening.  How powerful is the Atonement in our lives! It's effects can be far reaching if we properly allow it to work the way it is supposed to.  I was humbled reading this article and realizing how applicable these key aspects—humility, repentance, forgiveness—are in a marriage and how life altering they become when trials are at their peak in ones marriage.   



Repentance and Forgiveness in Marriage

Based on a devotional address given at Brigham Young University on January 19, 2010.

How these gospel principles will strengthen your marriage.
When couples get married, they joyfully anticipate the prospect of spending eternity together. They often enjoy having long conversations, going for walks, and spending time together. It is wonderful to be with someone you love so deeply.
Unfortunately, for some couples the bliss of deep love and immensely satisfying companionship does not last. Long talks are replaced by frequent arguments or angry silence.
Many of these couples divorce. Others withdraw emotionally from the relationship. The spouses become distant from each other, and they keep their interaction to a minimum.
How do these couples go from ecstatic levels of love and happiness to frequent conflict, bitterness, and in many cases, divorce? Researchers have identified a number of reasons, but in my professional experience, I have found that most of these explanations boil down to two fundamental factors: a lack of repentance and a lack of forgiveness.

Repenting

In most cases, we are married only for a short time before we hurt our spouse’s feelings. Whether our mistakes are intentional or inadvertent, we all end up doing things that hurt our spouse. Elder Joe J. Christensen, an emeritus member of the Quorum of the Seventy, said, “To develop a solid marriage, we must be able to admit we are sorry for mistakes we make. … When conflicts in marriage arise, we should be swift to apologize and ask for forgiveness, even though we may not be totally at fault. True love is developed by those who are willing to readily admit personal mistakes and offenses.”1

Apologizing Sincerely

In order to be effective, an apology must be sincere and heartfelt. There needs to be evidence that you are truly sorry that you have hurt or offended your spouse and that you take responsibility for your mistake or offense. A simple “sorry” or the slightly more eloquent “sorry about that” rarely provides the necessary evidence that you feel remorseful and take responsibility for your actions. A thoughtful apology might sound something like: “I’m sorry that I didn’t do the dishes last night like I had agreed to. It wasn’t right, and I apologize.” Such an open and honest apology can do wonders for healing wounded hearts.
Sometimes it is necessary to apologize more than once, especially if the offense is particularly hurtful. I have learned over the years that it sometimes takes several apologies before the sincerity of the apology is able to penetrate the wounded heart of an offended spouse.

Striving to Improve

Besides a sincere apology, repentance includes striving to forsake our shortcomings and weaknesses. For example, we keep our promises to do the dishes. We focus on not being grumpy or short-tempered. We try to become better listeners.
As we repent, we continually improve ourselves. We overcome our weaknesses and develop more Christlike qualities. By so doing, we become better people and better spouses.

Overcoming Pride

Repenting requires us to look inward, be humble, and take responsibility for our mistakes and weaknesses. President Ezra Taft Benson (1899–1994) taught: “Think of the repentance that could take place with lives changed, marriages preserved, and homes strengthened, if pride did not keep us from confessing our sins and forsaking them. …
“The antidote for pride is humility—meekness, submissiveness. … It is the broken heart and contrite spirit. …
“We can choose to humble ourselves by receiving counsel and chastisement. …
“We can choose to humble ourselves by confessing and forsaking our sins and being born of God. …
“Let us choose to be humble.”2
The essence of repentance is trying to change ourselves in ways that will make us better people. On the other hand, the foundation of pride is the desire to cover up our own weaknesses and focus on changing our spouse’s behavior. As we humble ourselves, we desire to improve our lives and take responsibility for our weaknesses. We are willing to apologize and become better people, which is at the core of repentance.

Forgiving

In order for a marriage to be successful, there also needs to be forgiveness. Repentance and forgiveness are complementary gospel principles, and both are necessary in order for us to progress spiritually.
Resentment is one of the worst poisons in marriage. It doesn’t ruin a marriage overnight. Rather, it is like decay that gradually and silently damages your teeth. Forgetting to brush your teeth once doesn’t ruin your teeth; however, numerous instances of neglect over many years will. Similarly, resentment accumulates gradually, often without us even noticing it. If left untreated, it builds up over a number of years to the point where it destroys love.
Just as our sins and weaknesses are washed away through repentance, forgiveness washes away the hurts and emotional injuries that must be anticipated in being married to someone who is imperfect.

Letting Go of Hurt

Forgiveness is the perfect antidote for the poison of resentment. It neutralizes our hurt feelings and makes room in our hearts for love to flourish and grow. President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught:
“All of us carry excess baggage around from time to time, but the wisest ones among us don’t carry it for very long. They get rid of it. … Often … the things we carry are petty, even stupid. … If you resent someone for something he has done—or failed to do—forget it. We call that forgiveness. It is powerful, spiritual medicine.”3
These same principles apply within a marriage, and perhaps more so. The best response to being hurt is, as President Packer implied, to get over it. Marriage is too important for us to clutter our minds and hearts with resentment that is created by dwelling on the faults and weaknesses of our spouse. We need to forgive and move on.

Relying on the Atonement

But what if we can’t simply forgive, forget, and move on? Some serious offenses are difficult to overcome, and some hurts run very deep. Sometimes a spouse has a difficult time forgiving something that others might consider trivial. In other cases, the level of resentment reaches a point where the spouse is unable to forget about it and move on with the relationship.
In these situations, we need to rely on the healing power of the Savior’s Atonement. His Atonement not only allows us to repent of our sins; it also heals those who suffer and grieve. Certainly it comforts those who sorrow because they have been hurt by their spouse. During the process of the Atonement, the Savior suffered all of the pain, sorrow, and grief that we will experience in this life. Because of His atoning sacrifice, He shoulders the pain that we experience, which gives us the ability to overcome these hurts and to heal and forgive our spouse.
President James E. Faust (1920–2007) said: “Our Redeemer took upon Himself all the sins, pains, infirmities, and sicknesses of all who have ever lived and will ever live. No one has ever suffered in any degree what He did. He knows our mortal trials by firsthand experience. …
“The Atonement not only benefits the sinner but also benefits those sinned against—that is, the victims. By forgiving ‘those who trespass against us’ (Joseph Smith Translation, Matthew 6:13), the Atonement brings a measure of peace and comfort to those who have been innocently victimized by the sins of others. The basic source for the healing of the soul is the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”4
A few years ago, I had the opportunity of serving as the bishop of a married student ward. I had wonderful people come into my office devastated because they had been terribly hurt by the actions of their spouse. Through their tears they would ask, “Bishop, how can I ever forgive my spouse?” We would then talk about the Atonement and its ability to heal broken hearts and to give us the ability to forgive.
As a bishop, I saw miracles. I saw individuals repent of their sins and earn back the trust of their spouses. I saw brokenhearted spouses find peace and the ability to forgive. I saw couples that were on the verge of divorce humble themselves, look inward, take responsibility, apologize for mistakes, and forgive each other. Every one of these miracles was made possible by the healing power of the Atonement.
Now don’t misunderstand. There are situations where forgiveness does not mean staying in a relationship that is abusive or dangerous. There are some scenarios where divorce may be the proper choice. But even in these cases, the Atonement can bring personal healing.
May we be willing to take responsibility for our own sins and weaknesses that create stress and pain in our marriages. May we use the power of the Atonement to allow the Savior to heal our hurts and sorrows to help us fully forgive our spouses. I testify that the Savior not only heals broken souls; He also heals broken hearts. If we allow Him to help us sincerely repent and freely forgive, our lives and our marriages will be blessed throughout eternity.
Repentance and forgiveness are complementary principles. Both invite the healing power of the Atonement to wash over us so that we can maintain peace and harmony in our marriage.
Just as our sins and weaknesses are washed away through repentance, forgiveness washes away the hurts and emotional injuries that must be anticipated in being married to someone who is imperfect.